


Reflections

by anonymous_moose



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Dysfunctional Family, Family Fluff, Gen, Post-Canon, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 06:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12501156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_moose/pseuds/anonymous_moose
Summary: It's the earl's birthday, and the party at Chesney's is in full swing. A good time is had by all, save one. But he manages to turn it around with a little help.Taako hides. Merle dispenses more than wisdom. Anger (and healing) can take many forms.





	Reflections

Taako pushed out the door of Chesney’s and onto the long porch stretching the length of the building. It was on a hill, with a beautiful view of the beach and Bottlenose Cove itself, shining with the reflected light from two moons. Strings of lights hung between houses, and little paper lanterns filled the air, floating away on the sea breeze.

He caught sight of Merle by the railing -- built for a dwarf’s height, like the rest of Chesney’s, at Merle’s request. Taako sauntered over and leaned against a wooden beam, glass of wine dangling from his fingers.

“Thought it was just me that got tired of parties,” he said, crossing his legs at the ankles.

Merle grinned and shrugged his shoulders, staring out at the sea. A half-empty tumbler of bourbon (the smokiest, oakiest thing Taako had ever tasted) was cradled in his hands. “It’s a nice night, is all. Just wanted some air.”

“Sure. I get it.”

They spent a moment in silence. Taako watched as some folks on a nearby rooftop lit their own lanterns and set them aloft, a mother holding her daughter on her shoulders as she raised it to the sky.

“I can’t believe you had your birthday declared a holiday.”

Merle turned to him and cocked an eyebrow knowingly. “Really?”

“Oh, I totally would have,” Taako clarified, pressing a hand to his chest. “Just didn’t think you would.”

“C’mon, kid,” Merle chided. “You know Merle doesn’t party alone.”

That earned a snort. Merle grinned and turned back to the sea.

“So who’re you hidin' from?” he asked, taking a sip of his bourbon.

Taako’s gaze shot towards Merle. “Me? Hide?” He scoffed loudly and took a sip of wine, smacking his lips. “Must have me confused with some other elf. S’okay, I know the eyes are the first thing to go. Oh, wait. Sorry, was that too soon?”

Merle bore the brunt of Taako’s rambling barrage without blinking, his one remaining eye twinkling in the light of the lanterns hanging from the roof’s edge. He raised his eyebrows expectantly, still waiting for an answer.

The little bastard always had his number. Taako could get Magnus to back off pretty much whenever he wanted, and even Kravitz and Angus he could maneuver around (or he told himself he could). But in all the multiverse, the two people who always saw through Taako’s horseshit, without fail, were his sister and an old, crunchy dwarf. He wondered how that happened.

Taako sighed and turned away, looking back through a window into Chesney’s. Barry and Lup were tearing up the dance floor to some dwarven club banger, grinning at each other like idiots as they did some weird version of the Charleston they’d picked up somewhere during that long century of travel. Davenport was leading the rest of the tavern in the vocals, waving his mug from side to side. Mavis and Mookie were trying to tug Angus onto the floor, and Kravitz was encouraging them. And Magnus...

He was a terrible dancer, absolutely wretched, and having to hunch over slightly so he didn’t smack his head against one of the exposed beams didn’t help. Lucretia was doing her best to make him look good, but it was a lost cause. Still, they were having the time of their lives. Smiling and laughing. Happy.

A part of Taako’s gut still twisted when he saw her smile. He wasn’t sure which part.

“Uh-huh. Figured as much.”

Taako scowled and tore his gaze away from the window. Merle was looking at him with a sort of resigned understanding that made Taako want to snap his eyepatch against the empty socket.

“Don’t,” he said, flatly.

Merle turned back to the view, elbows on the railing. “I’m not.”

“I mean it, old man.”

“I know,” he said with a lazy wave of his soulwood hand. “I know.”

Taako downed the rest of his wine and crossed his arms, the empty glass tucked in the crook of his elbow. It would be his last for the night; he didn’t drink more than one when Lucretia was within easy walking distance. Not since Candlenights.

His palms itched. His mood had officially taken a turn, and Taako decided to do something about it before the night became unsalvageable.

“Got any kush?”

He almost expected a dodge, or a refusal, or maybe even -- god forbid -- an attempt to talk through his feelings. Instead, Merle chuckled and said, “You’re still out?”

Taako shrugged. “Haven’t had the opportunity to restock.”

“You buy stuff from farmers all the time, don’tcha?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and if I wanted skunkweed, I’d have it in bulk. Taako don’t settle.”

With a huff, Merle set down his glass and reached into a satchel on his hip (“Nice fanny pack, short round.” “It’s a satchel, numbnuts.”) before producing a small leather pouch and a set of rolling papers. Even with their limited dexterity, Merle’s wooden fingers were practiced enough not to fumble once.

“Prefer a pipe,” Taako mumbled, setting down his glass and accepting the offered joint. He quickly snapped his fingers to light it.

“Yeah, I know,” Merle said with a shake of his head. “Elves and their pipes.”

After a long, held breath, Taako exhaled smoothly, smoke billowing outward. “Racist.”

“Ageist.”

Merle fumbled in his pocket, looking for a match. Taako held out his hand and snapped his fingers again, little flame dancing above them. Merle leaned in and lit his own cigarette in a puff of thick smoke.

They didn’t speak for a while. Taako felt the muscles in his shoulders begin to loosen, and the tight little knot in his chest start to untie itself. Merle, for his part, looked as chill as he ever did; the only difference Taako could see was that his eye lost a bit of its usual spark.

“How long’s this party gonna last?” Taako asked after another lengthy drag.

Merle shrugged. “Until people get tired of it. Maybe dawn. That seems like a good time to end a party.”

He groaned. “Great.”

“Glad you’re havin’ such a great time at my birthday, pal,” Merle deadpanned.

“Sorry, I have trouble enjoying myself around the person who ruined my life,” Taako fired back, though without much force -- the smoke was having its desired effect.

Merle plucked the joint from his lips and rolled it a little between his fingers. He shrugged. “Fair enough, I guess.”

Taako turned to face him fully, looked down at him with a furrowed brow. “It really doesn’t bother you?”

“What?”

“Having her around. After what she did.”

Merle almost laughed. “I’m not in much position to start judging people for their mistakes.”

“You don’t hate her?” Taako asked bluntly, genuinely curious. “Not even a little bit?”

“Oh, I got a lotta hate, kid,” Merle sighed, reaching for his bourbon and taking a swig. “The moments after we drank that ichor? I was so angry I could barely see.”

“What changed?”

“Nothin’,” he said, staring at the glass as he set it carefully back on the railing. “It wasn't her I was angry at. It was me.”

Taako stared at him, mouth twisting into a disbelieving sneer. Merle noticed and chuckled awkwardly.

“I wasn’t... back home, our old home? I didn’t have a lot of... purpose, I guess. I did alright, I got by. But I didn’t feel all that necessary. I wanted to find something important to do. Or not important, but... meaningful.”

Taako blinked and shook his head. “Never got that vibe from you.”

“That’s because when you met me, I had purpose.” Merle gestured towards the sky. “It wasn’t my life, not like it was for Davenport, but... as hard as it was, as weird as it could be, and for as much of it as I spent dead? Those hundred years taught me so much. I felt like -- like I finally figured out some shit. What mattered, and what didn’t. Y’know what I mean?”

He didn’t, but Taako nodded anyway. Good kush always made him a little more agreeable.

“Anyway,” Merle sighed, taking another drag. “Turns out, without all that? I was a selfish, thoughtless, insecure piece of shit.”

“Because she took that from you,” Taako said.

Merle shook his head. “Because that’s who I was, without it. She didn’t make the choice to walk away from my kids. That was all Merle. One hundred percent.”

“But if she hadn’t--”

“If she hadn’t,” Merle said firmly, “I would never have known how much all of you meant to me.”

Taako stared at him. Merle glared back from beneath a furrowed brow, a mild frown hidden beneath his big graying beard.

“I don’t tell you how to feel, Taako,” he said. “Don’t try and tell me.”

He turned away again. Taako had rarely seen Merle angry, even less so directed at anyone he knew. It put him on his back foot. Taako crossed his arms and stared at the floor, counting wooden knots in the boards. Those were bad, if he remembered right; Magnus would have less-than-kind things to say about the craftsmanship.

Merle finished his bourbon and set the glass aside, joint still clutched between his fingers. “Holding grudges is bad for the heart,” he said. “Least that’s how I was raised.”

“Now who’s telling,” Taako grumbled, taking a short drag.

“I’m talkin’ about me, shitbird, not you.”

“I don’t remember you cursing this much back on the ship.”

Merle laughed, short and clipped. “Well, we’ve all changed a bit from back then, haven’t we?”

“Yeah,” Taako said, looking away and staring at nothing. “Yeah.”

A long moment of silence. The paper lanterns were starting to trail off into the sky -- new launches were getting fewer and farther between. Must be getting late, Taako thought. Maybe he could excuse himself soon.

Merle finished his joint, stubbed out the end on the railing, and tossed it off the side into a puddle. He pushed away from the railing and clapped his hands.

“And now I’m hungry.” He turned to Taako, brows raised. “I’m gonna go get some chips and demolish a bowl of hummus. You in?”

“Depends on the hummus.”

“Whose birthday is it?”

“Iunno,” Taako shrugged, smirking ever so slightly. “Some governor, I think?”

“Earl, jackass” Merle said with a grin. “I pick the flavor.”

Taako looked down at his joint. There was a bit left.

“Yeah, sure, homie. Gimme a minute.”

Merle nodded and headed back inside, clapping him on the leg as he passed. Taako slid down the beam he was leaning against and sat on the railing, putting one foot up. He exhaled another thick cloud of smoke, staring at the twin moons reflected in the distant, rippling saltwater.

He looked away from the sea. In the window, he saw Lucretia resting a small bag on Magnus’ head -- the big idiot had banged his head again. Magnus winced and said something, and it made her laugh.

That part of Taako’s gut twisted again. This time, under a specific combination of mind-altering substances, he recognized it for it was -- sadness.

“Taako?”

He looked over his shoulder. Kravitz was at the doors to the tavern, partially silhouetted by the bright light of the interior.

“You disappeared,” he said.

“Yeah,” Taako said, stubbing out his joint. “I do that sometimes.”

Kravitz frowned a little and stepped fully out onto the deck. “Everything alright?”

Taako considered the question carefully before he decided to lie.

“Peachy,” he said casually, pushing himself to his feet. “You see Merle?”

“He was barging his way into the kitchens, I think,” Kravitz said. “Why?”

Taako walked over and hooked an arm around Kravitz’s neck, pulling him down for a short kiss.

“I was promised hummus,” he said matter-of-factly. “And I will get hummus. You ever had hummus, bonehead?”

Kravitz blinked. “Is that, uh. Is it like a pudding?”

Taako groaned a long-suffering groan and started to tug him, gently, towards the door. “C’mon, Krav. Let’s educate you.”

* * *

 

 _Sizzle It Up!_ would stick around to perform in Bottlenose Cove for a week after Merle’s birthday. Kravitz and Angus were happy to get out of the wagons for a bit, sleep in larger beds.

Lucretia, though, left just after breakfast the next day. She said she had work waiting for her back at Armos. Everyone said goodbye to her. Even Barry and Davenport.

Taako slept in that morning. No one said anything about his absence.

He considered that a successful familial interaction.


End file.
